


Slowly, Tightly, and Gently

by wake_me_up_AV



Series: You laugh together. You love together. You cry together. [1]
Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 18:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8812318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wake_me_up_AV/pseuds/wake_me_up_AV
Summary: Mario rolled over and reached out to place his hand on Angus's back. He began to slowly drag his flat palm up and down to try to calm him down. This was second nature to Mario now. He knew that eventually Angus would turn over and move towards him. Eventually he would tell him about his nightmare and eventually they would fall asleep, Angus held tightly by Mario, sleeping only because he knew he was safe and secure. But, Mario could already tell that tonight was different from every other night.Mario drew closer once he realized that Angus wasn't calming down. Mario softly called out to the other resident, hoping that he would focus on him. Angus's breathing didn't slow as Mario had hoped; instead it accelerated further.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic. Please be kind, I am but a smol bean.
> 
> (For real, though, feel free to leave a comment and let me know how I did. If you liked it, please kudos.)
> 
> You may proceed.
> 
> (Ngl, I love my end note almost as much as love this this fic.)

Mario woke with a start. The clock angrily flashed 3:27am at him as he blearily looked towards it. He could hear Angus trying to smother his face into his pillow to dull the noises he was making. But, Mario could hear them; he always can. Angus gasping for air and fighting against the tears that he refused to let flow.

Mario rolled over and reached out to place his hand on Angus's back. He began to slowly drag his flat palm up and down to try to calm him down. This was second nature to Mario now. He knew that eventually Angus would turn over and move towards him. Eventually he would tell him about his nightmare and eventually they would fall asleep, Angus held tightly by Mario, sleeping only because he knew he was safe and secure. But, Mario could already tell that tonight was different from every other night.

Mario drew closer once he realized that Angus wasn't calming down. Mario softly called out to the other resident, hoping that he would focus on him. Angus's breathing didn't slow as Mario had hoped; instead it accelerated further.

It took Mario all of 5 seconds’ deliberation to jump into action.

Savetti stood up and rounded the bed until he was standing beside Angus’s head. Mario could still hear Angus struggling to breathe. He turned on Angus’s small side lamp without taking his eyes off of the other man. When the small space was illuminated, Mario saw Angus’s instant recoil and shut it off without hesitation. Mario squatted down next to Angus and ran his hand through the other resident’s shaggy brown hair and tried once more to get his attention by calling out his name. When it became apparent that Angus wasn’t intent on moving anytime soon, Mario took action. He gently grabbed Angus’s arms one at a time and sat him up. He maneuvered and pulled his legs to bring him to the edge of the bed. Mario kneeled in front of Angus so that they were face to face.

He laid his right hand along the other man’s face, allowing his thumb to gently caress the other’s cheek. “Angus, babe, open your eyes. Look at me. You gotta slow your breathing down or you're gonna pass out, come on.” Mario tried to keep his voice level as Angus's breathing continued to rise. “Angus, come on, you have to slow your breathing down.” He placed his other hand parallel with the first, still trying to get Angus to open his eyes. “Angus, please open your eyes.” Mario could hear the desperation in his own voice, but couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

Mario saw past the still steady flow of tears to how splotchy Angus's face was getting from his hyperventilation and immediately adjusted his strategy. He sat behind Angus and scooted the other man back until he was in the center of the bed. He moved to sit next to Angus and proceeded to take his hand and place it on his sternum. He took slow, purposeful, and even breaths in the hope that his boyfriend would unconsciously mimic him.

After several minutes, Mario could hear and feel as, slowly but surely, Angus's breathing began to return to normal. Once the only sound in the room was their synced singular deep breaths, Mario released Angus's hand from his chest. He moved to sit in front of Angus, now ending up on Not His Side Of The Bed, as Angus so fondly reminds him after he's had a long, horrible shift.

Gently, Mario places his hands back on Angus's face, using his thumbs to slowly wipe away the tears that still clung to his cheeks. Angus still wouldn't meet his gaze, deliberately casting his eyes aside and trying to tilt his head away, almost as if he were ashamed.

“Angus.” Mario was scared to speak above a whisper. “Angus, please talk to me.” Mario allowed the silence to permeate the room while he watched Angus.

12 excruciatingly long heartbeats later, Angus finally looked up. His eyes were red and puffy; shining from unshed tears. His lips were trembling. He looked away the moment he made eye contact.

Mario could see Angus twisting his hands and sat patiently as he watched Angus try to form the proper words to explain what in the holy hell had just happened. Mario was getting antsy, but he knew that Angus needed the time to think. He shifted his attention to fluffing and adjusting the pillows. He placed the cushioning vertically against the headboard. He turned back around to see that Angus now sat motionless. Mario knew that Angus was ready to talk about it, but also that he had to make the first move. He put a leg on either side of Angus and wrapped his arms around the larger man. He pulled him tightly against his chest. Angus stayed silent and allowed himself to be moved by Mario. Once they were pressed against one another, Mario slowly leaned back against the headboard. He returned to calmly stroking up and down his partner’s back, patiently waiting for him to speak.

Mario was still, but his eyes and mind were restless. His eyes frantically searched the room. What could have possibly upset Angus that badly?? Was this really just another nightmare?? Did he hear or see something outside?? Did he get a text or phone call??

Mario froze and thought back to the days when Mike was in the hospital. Angus's phone was never farther than his pocket and he jumped every time it buzzed. That was near traumatizing for Angus. Mario wanted him to never have to go through something like that ever again. He allowed his eyes to continue to flit around the room until finally settling back onto Angus.

Angus lay against Mario’s chest, finding comfort in his boyfriend’s heartbeat and his palm against his back, both offering him steady reassurance.

God, what did he ever do to deserve him??

Moments later, Angus tilted his head up, bringing his eyes to meet Mario’s. He lifted a hand to Mario’s face, mimicking his own earlier movements. Angus swiped his thumb just under Mario's left eye and repeated the motion on the other side. As he moved his hand away, Mario saw tears that he hadn't even known he'd shed shine in the gentle moonlight that flooded the room.

After several minutes of simply looking at each other, Angus caves. Mario can see his entire demeanor change as he drops his eyes again and begins to speak. Angus takes a deep breath and hopes that his voice stays steady.

“I dreamt you had died. You were coding right next to me in Center Stage. I tried to scream for you and reach out to you but, you were so far away. Everyone was just staring with such pity while they worked on me. Malaya and Willis wouldn't even look me in the eye, but I knew they were just as upset as I was.

I kept trying to ask what was going on with you, but no one would answer me. I saw Leanne make a hand motion, and Mama moved so that I couldn't see you anymore. Mike rushed over from where ever he was and was trying to get me to calm down, but I just couldn’t. He was trying to stand right in between me and you, but I could still see and hear what was going on. There was blood everywhere and on everyone and I knew that it was your blood and I just couldn’t breathe. All of the monitors started to go off and I could hear my own heart rate spiking as I pleaded with Mike to move or to at least tell me what was going on, but I realized it for myself. _I couldn't hear your heartbeat_.”

Mario's face had drained of all color. His hand had stilled on Angus's back as he realized what he was talking about. Mario could feel that Angus was crying again and was himself trying not to cry while he listened to Angus’s voice tremble.

“I kept screaming for Mike or Malaya or Willis to just tell me what was going on but they wouldn’t even look at me. The only person who was actually looking at me and talking to me was Mike and he just kept telling me to relax and calm down. No one would tell me anything and I honestly didn’t know if you were going to make it. I could hear them charging the defibrillator and when Leanne called ‘Clear’, finally, _finally_ , I could hear your heart beating again.” Angus sighed shakily and braced himself for what he knew he had to say next. “When they were rolling me out of Center Stage to go up to the OR, I could hear you coding again. I told them to bring me back, but Malaya and Willis were ignoring me. Mike tried to tell me that I needed surgery right away, but I’m not stupid. Wills was trying to calm me down, but I started thrashing and insisting that I needed to go back. They had to bring people over to restrain me. I looked Campbell and Heather in the eye and told them that I refused to go upstairs until I knew for a fact that you were stable.”

Angus brought his face to meet Mario's, fresh tears in his eyes as he confessed, “I felt so useless and scared. You were dying and there was absolutely nothing that I could do to help you.” Angus sobbed into Mario's chest, one arm wrapped tightly around the smaller man’s torso, while his other hand floated to just below Mario's ribs, right where his biggest and thickest scar is. Of course when he saw it Mario knew that he had a chest tube put in, but Mario didn't know that Angus had to watch it happen. He held Angus as tightly as he was clinging onto him.

“Then I woke up and remembered that it wasn't a dream. It actually happened and I really almost lost you and I just couldn't breathe.” Angus is aggressively sobbing against Mario, almost as if there was something inside of him that he needed to get out, but couldn't quite seem to.

Mario is so overwhelmed with emotion that he doesn't know what to do. No one ever told him what happened in Center Stage that night.

That night was supposed to be their first date. Angus had made the dinner reservations 2 weeks in advance and they both made sure nothing would interfere. They had it all planned out. They'd go out for a nice dinner, take a walk around the park, and then have dessert in a location to be determined by their mood. They were both scheduled to have that night off and Angus had just made a joke about not even thinking about work when a pickup truck ran a red light as they were crossing the street to go to dinner. Mario remembers trying to push Angus out of the way and then it's just dark. He doesn't remember the impact. He doesn't remember the ambulance ride. He doesn't remember the ER. His first memory was waking up to Angus sitting next to his bed with his head resting next to his thigh and holding his hand while he slept. He remembers waking Angus up and seeing the relief and tears start to flood his face. Mario knew right then and there that he never wanted to let Angus go through that ever again. More than that, he knew that he never wanted to leave Angus’s side ever again.

Mario is brought back to the present by his boyfriend’s sobbing. He tightens his arms around Angus and allows himself to be crushed in return. They just sit and hold each other for a while, feeling no need to fill the silence.

As Angus begins to loosen his grip and leans back, Mario takes the opportunity to kiss him. Their lips firmly pressing against each other. It was exactly what both of them needed, just that small little reassurance. Angus lifts his hands up to Mario's face and briefly tangles his fingers into his hair as he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Mario allows Angus to take control and gives him everything he wants. Angus finally pulls himself back with a resigned sigh and looks at the clock. It was almost 5am and both of their shifts start at 9. Angus briefly kisses his partner’s forehead, before regrettably having to be the responsible one and remind Mario of their eminent work schedule.

Mario sighs, kisses Angus one last time, and lays back down, pulling Angus closer as the larger man begins to close his eyes. Angus settles into Mario's arms with his head against the other's chest, resting just over Mario's heart. It was an everyday affair but Mario now realized it was infinitely more meaningful.

Mario watched Angus with a small smile on his face. He glanced at his nightstand, making sure that the black velvet box was still hidden behind the framed picture of the two of them.

He paused and looked at the picture. It was taken by Malaya at the Christmas party two years ago. A perfect picture of the exact moment of their first kiss. Mario and Angus had been talking for almost the entire party before either of them realized that they were standing directly under the mistletoe. Mike had called out to his brother from across the party, drawing everyone’s attention to them. Mario and Angus both froze and just looked at each other. Mike, ever the helpful big brother, decided to start a chant that the entire room picked up. The sound was over powering in the small break room.

_Kiss him!! Kiss him!! Kiss him!!_

Both of them remained still, neither wanting to make the first move, for fear that the other didn't actually feel the same. Mario took a deep breath and with little confidence and a lot of liquid courage, grabbed Angus by the collar of his God awful sweater and pulled him closer. He would have sworn that he could hear Angus's heart beating. He moved his hands up to gently cup Angus's face and slowly leaned foreword to press his lips against Angus's.

The room erupted in cheers with more than a few “Finally!!”s in there, too. Leanne and Mike exchanged knowing looks as Risa and Neal paid up. But, at the moment, all they could think about was each other. Angus wrapped his arms around Mario's waist and pulled him even closer. Mario tilted his head and went to deepen the kiss when all of a sudden, they were sprayed with cold water.

They broke apart, Mario looking murderously in the direction the water had come from and Angus looking scandalized. Mama stared them down, the hose from the sink still in his hand.

“There will be none of that hanky-panky business in your Mama’s house. Save it for when you get to your own homes.’

Everyone had laughed. Partly because they all realized that he was only half serious and partly because the both of them looked like actual children who had been scolded for getting caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

Mario felt a warmth in his chest at one of many fond memories of him and Angus. He thought for a moment and realized that he was more sure than ever that this man right here was the person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The first and only person he ever truly loved.

Mario heard Angus’s soft snoring and leaned down to kiss the crown of his head. Mario began to drift asleep with a smile on his face and his arms tightly wrapped around the best thing that ever happened to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Shit happens, so if it was shit, it already happened.


End file.
